Written by Mark L. Smith
Starring Luke Wilson, Kate Beckinsale, Frank Whaley, Ethan Embrey
Genre: Horror / Thriller
Country: USA
Runtime: 85 minutes
MPAA Rating: Rated 14A for violence and disturbing content.

Evaluation: 8/10
by Greg Ferguson







For David (Luke Wilson) and Amy Fox (Kate Beckinsale), the soon-to-be divorced couple in director Nimród Antal's Vacancy, the anguish and fear attached to their initial scenes from a (collapsed) marriage, rooted in a cascading emptiness flowing from the unrecent yet still raw death of their young son Charlie, are familiar enough to anyone who has seen the mutual loss of love between two people played out in an unfolding series of bitter yowls. This isn't exactly new cinematic territory; Ingmar Bergman was so masterful at making films like this that most anything that's come across since has, in some way, felt derivative. Bergman, however, always remained more mentally brutal than physically, which is what has allowed Vacancy to - excuse the pun - fill a void of sorts. Its worth, and I believe its eventual endurance, ultimately rests in the way the distress over David and Amy's vacant affection and regard for one another is transmuted into corporeal horror, both terrifying and gruesome. By using conventional doom and gloom scares as figurative representations of divorce, Antal and his crew elevate the otherwise moribund slasher genre to a level of allegory and deeper meaning not often seen in today's fare.

As a relatively formulaic thriller, Vacancy could very well fool, by mere appearance, that portion of the filmgoing public fed up with the glut of lazy horror cash-grabs (while almost certainly, on the other hand, appealing to the casual and seasoned fans). After their squabbling over road directions results in their car's dusk-til-dawn immobility, David and Amy reluctantly shack up in a nearby motel since it'd be risking too much to sleep in their vehicle on the side of the road. Naturally, being a film of the quick-n-nasty variety, the place is a dive even by dives' standards, to the point where the pair is mortified not by the roaches or brown water so much as the sleazy collection of VHS tapes they're offered that depict actual recorded murders in their very room - snuff films - produced by a proprietor about two combat boots and a Congressional endorsement away from Guantanamo. And, given that both leads are A-list stars, it's safe to assume that they'll be sticking around for the long haul. So, what we've basically got is an exercise in stimulus-response punctuated with chases, quiet moments, more confrontation, and some sort of bloody resolution - right?

I'm sure that among those who've seen Vacancy, the answer would be yes for some, but I saw more than that. The usual problems I have with slashers - stupid characters making stupid decisions in totally preposterous scenarios with joylessly predictable outcomes - are largely avoided here. In fact, in spite of both David and Amy's heightened emotional edginess, both sparring partners employ an unusual amount of judicious thought in their choices throughout the film, with the rest of their misfortune due to forces beyond their immediate control. Every one of those bangs on the door of their room in the deadness of night from unknown callers is like a demon trying to disrupt the equanimity of their union, and every pang of dread and palpable intrusion into their bruised and weary worlds is like a personal wound inflicted to tear them apart. The matrimonial crisis in which they're both embroiled is like some cruel and unfathomably sadistic death no different, really, from the actual death being threatened by the motel murderers watching at all times from multiple angles. Blessedly, David and Amy have the good sense to anticipate their stalkers, prepare and strategize, scrutinize every available detail, and steel themselves for the worst when they're called upon to act. Their commitment to survival dovetails precisely with their commitment to each other.

Because the characters were convincing and meaningfully developed, their predicament carried more weight and tension than it otherwise would have. In that regard, Vacancy earns comparison with two of this century's other exceptional horror films, Wolf Creek and The Descent, which both conversely accomplished the feat of transmuting physical terror into mental terror. They worked more effectively for me than Antal's film, perhaps since our mental faculties, as Bergman understood, are infinitely more susceptible to torment and torture than our bodies. Sure, it must hurt to be beaten, stabbed, or shot, but the damage caused when someone stops loving you can be incalculable.

(Vacancy is currently playing at Crystal Palace 8 Cinemas, located at 499 Paul St., Dieppe.)

Written by Elias (story and screenplay); H.P. Lovecraft (story and inspiration); Tomas Algren, Brian Barnes, Brian A. Bernhard, Rebecca Finley, Gillian MacGregor, Jane Rose, Simon Ruben, Doug Sakmann, Robbie Simons, Tom Wontner (segments)
Starring Lloyd Kaufman, Dan Payne, Chad Bernhard, Matt Renicks, Tom Wontner, Joanna Angel
Genre: Comedy / Fantasy / Horror / Thriller
Country: USA
Runtime: 87 minutes
MPAA Rating: No MPAA Rating.

Evaluation: 6.5/10
by Greg Ferguson


Cult fantasy/horror author H.P. Lovecraft is a figure who had escaped my attention until only recently when the opportunity to watch LovecraCked! The Movie, an endearing homage made by fans of the man, presented itself. Before sitting down I wondered to myself, as I still wonder now, whether this was a film intended for a newbie such as myself or someone more familiar with his various dark and disturbing canon. Though LovecraCked (why the cheekily capitalized "C"?) begins promisingly enough by letting the audience believe they're in for an amusing exploration of Lovecraft's life and works (courtesy of director Elias's turn as a geeky television documentarian), it awkwardly delves into an undiscerningly assembled series of short films by a smattering of directors ranging in mood and theme and strung together by more of Elias's earnest attempts at comedy. Perhaps it only felt haphazard, however, because of my lack of knowledge on the subject; I don't know. What I am sure of is that after having finished the film I was neither filled with a newfound appreciation of Lovecraft nor did I even learn much about him, and that is just about the most definitively damning thing one could possibly say about such a tribute to an artist.

Given its omnibus status, the best moments from LovecraCked! unsurprisingly come when taken individually and not part of the whole. Of the nine shorts featured, a few of them are stand-outs that make the film work seeking. "The History Of Lurkers" was a truly funny vignette if only because of its nakedly literal depiction of its two leads, both Gen-X Netherworld losers of a different sort (one unholy, the other unwholesome). By contrast, "Alecto," was an unsettling portrayal of a murderer haunted by memories of his nefarious deeds. Finally, "Bugboy" was a beautifully ugly slice of Cronenbergian insect gore that makes up for its unoriginality by favourably evoking the b-grade '50s horror vibe to a tee. Of the rest, I confess that I really wanted to like the tastelessly amped-up camp of "Re-Penetrator," but being a porno first and foremost it was only fun for a while before devolving into the reliably tiresome formula which pornos tend to follow. Thank goodness all we got was the abridged version; the original, I'm led to believe, lasts for nearly half an hour.

That said, I wish LovecraCked! could have been presented entirely in a more condensed version. Its remaining content is so flabby and borderline irritating that it felt like I'd hit a commercial break in the regular programming each time one came on (indeed, the point at which Tromaville president Lloyd Kaufman appears to plug various DVDs from his studio might as well have been one). Without these distractions (there is no kinder euphemism I can think of) to dwindle whatever momentum the film was trying to build, people less obligated to watch the whole thing may not be so inclined to skip around or lose interest outright. I'm not sure if Lovecraft himself deserved better, but I am sure that Elias and the team behind LovecraCked! could have done a more consistent job of helping me decide.

(For more information on LovecraCked! The Movie, please visit the official website by clicking here)