Directed by Chuck Bowman
Written by Stephen J. Cannell, Corey Strode, Cookie Rae Brown (teleplay); Daniel Farrands, Carolyn Davis (story)
Starring Lochlyn Munro, Chandra West, Nicole Muñoz, Carrie Fleming, Jianna Ballard, Peter New, Steve Bacic, Peng Zhang Li
Genre: Horror
Country: USA
Runtime: 89 minutes
MPAA Rating: No MPAA Rating

Evaluation: 3.5/10
by Greg Ferguson






Somewhere in the third act of The Tooth Fairy, the film's token airhead comes out with a doozy of a line, delivered sincerely: "People who can recognize their faults are destined to change them." I know someone involved with this oppressive slab of cinematic ineptitude wrote that line because no less than five writers are credited for its creation, as if each one of them was clamouring to attach their name to it. How, then, would they, as well as director Chuck Bowman, explain the copious mess of faults they are responsible in large part for? At a time when truly unsettling and provocative horror films like Wolf Creek and The Descent are wilfully and creatively tapping into our most innate fears, these filmmakers are as trapped in their own outdated era ('80s SFX gore-pornos) as the purgatorial spirits in the film are in theirs. Destiny, sadly, doesn't intervene on their behalf at any time here.

Aside from its laughable platitudes, The Tooth Fairy truly damns itself with its dimwitted premise, taking a common childhood myth and transmuting it into a violent slasher flick that is obviously intended for adults yet retains a childish sensibility. Trouble ensues for the torpid collective of characters (and for the intelligent and indignant viewer) when a wicked witch (Peng Zhang Li) bent on releasing her soul from captivity begins stalking the inhabitants of a new bed-and-breakfast in a rural Californian town. She needs the teeth of little tykes in order to free herself (with the caveat that they must be outside of the mouth), and a little girl named Pam (Nicole Muñoz) who is visiting with her mom (Chandra West) has fortuitously lost one while riding her bike. In the process of getting it, the witch wreaks havoc by first picking off glorified extras in heavily masturbatory and unnecessary death scenes then finally, after much lollygagging and teasing, zeroing in on Pam, who has by now aligned herself with a young girl named Emma (Jianna Ballard) whose corporeality is dubious and precociousness suspect. Still, after her proselytizing, Emma never recommends that Pam do the most logical thing which is temporarily sticking her tooth back in her mouth to ward off the witch. Oh, but then we wouldn't have this movie, and oh what a shame that would have been.

At the risk of sounding contrary, I'm going to say that I'd have preferred another movie, especially one where the main characters are actually disturbed by the deaths of others in their company and don't instead resort to inane chatter about relationships, freshman-year philosophy, and country-rap lyrics, or doff their clothes for an impromptu round of This Stranger Understands My Entire Life sex. Furthermore, the witch's behaviour in accomplishing her mission is fatally erratic; indeed, how scary is a murderous villain who inexplicably bumbles around in its pursuit of its prey and inevitably fails to foil the defences of a small girl? This titular Tooth Fairy doesn't do her job very well, and for that matter neither do any of the filmmakers.

(The Tooth Fairy is available on DVD.)