Directed by Michael Hurst
Written by Michael Hurst, Mark A. Altman
Starring Christine Taylor, Shane Brolly, Jerry O'Connell
Genre: Horror / Thriller
Country: USA
Runtime: 94 minutes
MPAA Rating: No MPAA Rating

Evaluation: 3.5/10
by Greg Ferguson








Room 6 was recommended to me on the premise that if I liked the film Jacob's Ladder then I would be sure to like this. Not having seen it yet, I wasn't aware of the hidden premise behind this charitable act: that I enjoy seeing the same movies over and over again, but with different settings and actors. I don't, although that seems to be the popular trend these days amongst many moviegoers. Of course, I don't mean to disparage all remakes and updates, discounting them outright; only when they are misbegotten clunkers or lazily-executed cash-ins does my critical skin toughen and every impulse of mine recoil in disdain. Writer/director Michael Hurst's bastardization of Jacob's Ladder, a film much-beloved by me, triggered my "Oh no he did-un't" alarm. Removed of its socio-political underpinnings and urgent metaphysical rigeur, Adrian Lyne's classic has been interpolated as a limp paranormal abduction thriller involving demons with no purpose and redemption with no cause.

In a bold and shocking move, the protagonist this time has been changed from a male to a female (gasp!). Her name is Amy (Christine Taylor) and she's an unwed elementary school teacher who lives with her boyfriend, Nick (Shane Brolly). They've been dating for ages and he figures it's time to propose, and when he does it is so spectacularly half-baked and unflattering that the poor girl can't bring herself to accept. Naturally, this singular act of desperate self-preservation, more than the opening dream sequence of her paralytically splayed on a hospital gurney awaiting unwanted surgery, immediately signals that Something Bad is going to happen that will make her wish she had said "yes" instead. Indeed, as the ensuing series of events cascades like overflowing water from a neglected faucet, Amy and Nick are involved in a calamitous intersection car accident with a young man named Lucas (Jerry O'Connell) and his sister after Nick stupidly takes his eyes off the road to argue with her face-to-face (what a winner....). Fortune smiles on Amy (my sentiment) when paramedics arrive on the scene and whisk Nick off to an unspecified hospital in what basically amounts to a kidnapping, but unfortunately she doesn't share my feelings about her newfound opportunity to be rid of him and instead decides to partner up with Lucas to find him. What's more is Amy has a peculiar student (Chloe Moretz) who's been drawing some very provocative artwork that suggests she has a connection to Nick's captors and Amy's bad dreams. That this kid knows so much and is in a position to help is more silly than eerie or prescient, although I take some solace in the fact that she a) did not vomit pea soup (The Exorcist), b) perform random acts of martial arts and prattle on about pancakes (Cabin Fever), or c) was not replaced by the insufferable Cameron Bright. I suppose it was too much to ask that she didn't see dead people.

As a horror film, Room 6 is so tepid and obvious that none of its tactics are scary or jumpy. Everything that was disturbing, wrenching, and poignant about Jacob's Ladder has been excised and deemed unnecessary, inexplicably. With a missing boyfriend who's too much of a dolt to care about seeing rescued and so many typical horror/thriller contrivances exploited without style, flair, or vision, Michael Hurst and co-writer Mark A. Altman have bowdlerized a superior film for... what end? Really, for what other reason was this film made but to shallowly make money? Conversely, it follows that there is no reason to bother seeing this film unless you feel like giving your money away.

(Room 6 is available on DVD.)