I approached The Family Stone, as I suspect many others will, with an air of nostalgia for television's "Sex & The City," curious to see how Sarah Jessica Parker would fare in her first major role since the show's end early last year. More to the point, I was hoping to catch a glimpse, however brief, of Carrie Bradshaw, especially since this would be the closest I would likely ever come to seeing her on the big screen now that the possibility of a "Sex & The City" feature film is dead in the water. Of course, my sentimentality and heartfelt affection for the show were naive and misplaced here, as this is a stand-alone film about a woman (Parker) who visits with her boyfriend's rather large family over Christmas and the mayhem that ensues. It would be unfair to judge the film based on any loose association with this defunct television show, so why bother make mention of it? I do this because The Family Stone, on its own, is a dud, and I am mindful of the show's fans who stand to be doubly disappointed when they go to see this film. Do not expect "Sex & The City," and do not expect a good film either.

The Family Stone is a film about major life events that happen to a family of characters we really have no reason to care about. Things begin innocently enough when eldest son Everett (Dermot Mulroney) brings his girlfriend, Meredith, to his parents' country house for her first Christmas with his family. Once there, however, the film's screwloose dementia is set in motion by his mother, Sybil (Diane Keaton), a preposterous woman whose progressiveness is challenged when she meets Meredith and instantly disapproves. Oh, she's careful to say Meredith's not a bad person; instead, it appears that her rigid and reserved demeanour (which some people could verily label respect) clearly indicates that she's not the right type for him. However, making such a statement does not take the edge off of her brusque and childish behaviour, which we are given to believe is confounded by the fact that - wait for it - she's dying, and she hasn't told any of her children yet.

Sybil's contribution to this boho tessellation creates an undue amount of friction, which is only exacerbated by her wimpy husband Kelly (Craig T. Nelson), her vindictive daughter Amy (Rachel McAcadms, who is still a pleasure to watch even in a terminally ill flop), her pot-friendly do-gooder son Ben (Luke Wilson), and the bystander passivity of her other two children, Amy and Thad (an incredulous triple-whammy: gay, deaf, and married to an African-American partner - director/writer Thomas Bezucha lays on the liberal mayonnaise rather thick as if eager to be fashionable rather than sincere). When an exasperated Meredith's laid-back sister Julie (Claire Danes) comes to her rescue, that's when the film inexplicably veers into romantic mix-up territory. I did learn something new though: no matter who you plan on proposing to, if another woman tries on the ring first and it fits then she's the one you're destined to be with - especially if she likes the look of it on her finger. Consequently, if your boyfriend is a somnambulent starched shirt and you haven't let your hair down in a really long time, the first guy to get you plastered at a bar is the guy you're destined to be with. That's a fact.

Pulling off a funny yet touching film about a family is tricky because the audience needs to connect with and care about the characters and identify with their situations. The holiday gathering subtype is an easy one since so many people are experienced with them and can share in the delight and anguish of the influx of relatives, the weather and travel glitches, the food preparation, and the pursuit of the perfect gift. Somehow, Bezucha gets it all wrong, failing to develop the characters beyond the scope of their respective shticks. There are innumerable other films of this genre that are better, but the one I think The Family Stone aspires to be is Woody Allen's Hannah And Her Sisters, which takes place during Thanksgiving instead of Christmas and follows an extended family over a span of two years. Allen's film is keenly observant of human nature and treats its characters' romantic dalliances with dignity and humour rather than exploiting their flaws for cheap laughs or tacky melodrama. Where The Family Stone merely pretends to be sophisticated and tries awfully hard to convince us, Hannah And Her Sisters truly is without announcing itself to be so. Carrie Bradshaw would have fit right in.

(The Family Stone is currently playing at the Crystal Palace 8 Cinemas, located at 499 Paul St. in Dieppe.)